[Spoken]
Gather ’round, kiddies, for a little ditty
About the birds, the bees, and the in-betweens…
[Verse 1]
There’s agender, bigender, trigender, quad,
Pangender, omnigender—makes your head nod!
Demiboy, demigirl, demienby too,
Neutrois and nullgender, what will they do?
Genderflux, genderfluid, flowing like wine,
Boyflux and girlflux, they’re feeling just fine.
Xenogender, aliagender, maverique pride,
Autogender for those on the spectrum ride!
[Chorus]
But kids, before you chop off your bits with glee,
Remember that’s permanent—can’t hit undo, you see.
Think twice, think thrice, don’t rush to the knife,
Changing your plumbing won’t fix your whole life.
You’re miserable now? Well, join the club, dear,
But swapping your gender won’t make it all clear.
[Verse 2]
There’s abimegender, deep as the sea,
Cassgender—indifferent, just let it be.
Colorgender, rainbow-hued in your mind,
Egender—exhausted, too tired to find.
Faegender, fairylike, whimsical flight,
Glassgender—fragile, don’t drop it at night.
Heliogender, sunny and bright as can be,
Ipsogender—intersex, uniquely free!
[Chorus]
Oh, youth of today, so naive and so bold,
Dreaming of genders like stories untold.
But warnin’ from me: before you de-junk,
Ponder the future—don’t go with a hunch.
Life’s full of woes that no scalpel can mend,
Your problems persist to the bitter end.
[Bridge]
And don’t forget kingender, kin to a beast,
Libragender—balanced, or so at least.
Musicgender, tuned to a symphony’s call,
Novigender—novel, confusing to all.
Quoigender—questioning, what even is this?
Stargender—cosmic, a heavenly bliss.
Uingender—unknown, a mystery profound,
Vapogender—vapor, just floating around!
[Final Chorus]
So live and let live, that’s the old golden rule,
Do what you want, but don’t play us for fools.
We won’t throw parades for your personal quest,
Or rewrite the world at your every request.
Two hundred genders? That’s fine, have your fun,
But kids, face the facts when the dreaming is done!
(spoken)
Be smart Kids, hold on to the cards you were dealt —
when you get older, you’ll thank me for it. And remember: a spade’s still a spade… or is it a shovelflux now? Who knows!